I have been grasping at straws trying to write something for the last week. Honestly, I am just kind of sad. A couple of my parents' long time friends have passed in the last couple weeks, as well as my best friend's grandma. Although, I was not especially close to these people I have known them all, in varying degrees, for a lot of my life. Mortality is weighing on my mind heavily, I can't bring myself to write about what I think you should buy at the thrift store and what you should not. I am not depressed, just a little blue, which is not an especially good color on me. I'm kind of snippy and bitchy when I'm sad. To be clear, it is not my own mortality I am worried about it's really my parents'. My mother was only a couple years older than I am now when her own mother passed away and honestly I just cannot bear the thought. It terrifies me. My mom is my best friend and she's my kids' best friend. She raised me up in a big old house and taught me everything I know about design and getting shit done all by yourself. She gives me confidence every day that I can do it. She is the epitome of feminism and girl power although she would be hard pressed to admit it. As feminism is a liberal concept, and she is decidedly not one of those. We laugh that my three sons will grow up to think women are the ones that do the literal heavy lifting, climb the ladders and wire the lights, the ones wielding tape measures and hammers and screw guns. They will have a high expectation for the women in their future, shrinking violets need not apply. I'm just over here feeling sorry for myself (probably irrationally) because someday I will lose my best friend, as one or the other of us will inevitably go first, alone. I should be grateful that my momma IS my best friend and work a little harder to make the best of the time we do have.